Using Sociolinguistics in Coaching

and the next question is, by Alexander and Russell and Introducing Sociolinguistics by Meyerhoff

Long before I became a coach, I trained as a linguist, specialising in the sociological aspects of language and communication.

Learning the mechanics of language and how it is used allows me to understand people better and develop my coaching practice. More importantly though, it enables the people I work with to understand themselves better.

Here’s how I use my linguistic awareness to gain deeper insights on what people I work with may be experiencing in their lives as they go through change:

Seeing the little differences

Variation is about the differences between speakers, from languages to accents and dialects, and even less perceptible details such as vocal quality, pitch or even gesture.

Variation also relates to how speakers change they way they speak within themselves, often based on mood, topic, location, health or other factors.

In a coaching session, applying these skills helps me attune to what is going on with the person I’m in conversation with.

• Are they using more informal vowel sounds in their greeting, suggesting perhaps a comfortable, relaxed mood compared to the previous session?

• Do they get excited and talk in higher pitch when talking about their future plans, or do the vocal chords tighten and voice become constricted?

• Are they the kind of speaker who easily accommodates to others' ways of speaking or is their idiolect (their specific accent and dialect) mostly fixed and unwavering?

• How does this range of variation match up with their identity, their personal history, and values?

I’m implicitly listening for these cues and I often share what I notice if I think it will help us explore an area further.

Spotting the metaphors at play

What colourful descriptions and perspectives is the person taking?

If they’re talking about their challenges using terms of war, confinement or oppression, how is that impacting their progress with their goals?

When the metaphors shift to a new frame, what might that be a sign of for them? Is that meaningful to explore further?

I’m always looking out for these and stepping into the metaphor with someone when I can.

Noticing the narrative

What are the stories we tell and how does that relate to our identities?

What gets omitted, what is overemphasized?

Where are we at in our narrative and where do we want to be?

How do we see ourselves in this journey?

Who helps us and what roles do they play?

Analysing conversation in real time

I’ve had a bit of training in a sub-field of sociolinguistics called Conversation Analysis. This often makes it fun and often helpful to notice the following:

How is the turn-taking progressing and what are they particularly responsive to?

Are there specific hedges, discourse markers (well, so, like) that are being used meaningfully here?

What might I learn about how the person is relating to what they’re saying, as they’re saying it?

It’s all semantics! (And that’s great)

Semantics is all about the meanings of words, phrases, gestures and more. Context is key to getting the interpretations right, so I’m paying attention to that, too. And asking myself things like…

When they used that word, what did it mean to them? I might ask them to clarify.

Do they talk in absolutes and specifics or are things a bit fuzzy? Why might that be?

Are they using stigmatised language, and if so, are they aware of it? Would they want to be made aware of it?

Pragmatics – what’s underneath the literal meaning

What is the subtext? What is not being said?

What is the role of humor for this person? Maybe we can be playful here, to lighten things up, or work our way through a particularly difficult challenge.

What else is going on?

How is their breathing, their volume, pitch and tone?

What about laughter, posture, and eye contact?

What gestures do they make and when do they make them?

These are clues to when we feel stuck, where there’s hope, and how we might make our way. I’m here, listening for all of it.

One more thought…

We can't know everything and we shouldn't make assumptions about what is going on inside someone's head. But there are always patterns. And we can always be curious and open to what those might mean.